Educate your mind

… and the rest will follow… — Okay so apparently I looked it up and its actually “free your mind and the rest will follow”

80s song by En Vogue – which is … oddly more appropriate for the day and age than the thought I’m having.

So so happy about my sister graduating – she got her official diploma for her bachelors just before mothers day and I am just so so grateful from the universe that I was able to attend – all be it virtually.

She has started exploring her possibilities and its amusing to me to watch P start to get motivated by her achievements – gotta keep the pace buddy – so she is so much more an inspiration to him for somethings than I could ever be to encourage him to go back and study more and get his PHD.

We were exploring last night, and found a program that atleast seems interesting to him. He, as usual. doesn’t feel qualified to apply – to which I just smile and shake my head – knowing full well that they would be BLESSED and grateful to have him.

He had a day yesterday – hell we have both had a week. Chaos is strong with us right now – so much in flux so much dynamic going on.

One of his co-workers – distant one gave him kudos – and he was able to help the guy solve a problem – much like the ones he himself has recently been struggling with – in record time. They guy was so grateful, and so surprised when P was not only willing to help but super fast and able to get to the root and solution very quickly.

He is an incredible guy, and this is a very trying time for him. Its trying for me, this infection on top of all the other things just won’t go away.

Insert Alethia Insanity here: I’ve had some meditations/dialogues with the bacteria invading my body – they have explained they have been here for decades and they are offended at my resent attempts to rid them of their happy homes. I’ve expressed that the greater good of the whole machine is the objective and there is no home if that falls apart. Negotiations are somewhat at a stand still, so unfortunately a new round of a new antibiotic is invading the rest of the happy homes of the carefree supportive gut biome that is keeping me alive – time to figure out how to raise the oceans without completely eliminating florida – I mean heck it has some nice places.

Today is a chai day – yesterday my body decided to wake me at 2am, and I tried for half hour to convince it to sleep – we ended with me acquiescing – it was a small battle to lose – there were obligations involved with this – I made P his jalapeno poppers – and I baked – the thing that my mind wouldn’t let go to use up the rest of the flax seed flour taking up landscape in my kitchen.

So the baking adventure started with me using my mask — unfortunately snotting all over the inside of my mask – time for a replacement — to protect from the Jalapeno juice/spices that always end up making me take three times as long for the “breaks to breath” from the heat – they are especially hot this year ESPECIALLY – so the act of washing, clipping and cleaning somehow produces this enormous cloud of “heat wave” across my kitchen – I thought i was being clever to use my mask – hell its an application for it right? — Um apparently when the air the mask blows in comes from just outside where the jalapeno juice is…. its not really protection from that 100% — I will say I didn’t need breaks, I was able to do the whole thing in the original 10 minutes and the mask did catch most all of the post nasal drip that my sinus like to provide when I give them an irritant – of any variety “raises fist in mock curse of the ragweed and other pollens” — I digress.

So after throwing his poppers in the oven, it was “time” to endeavor to experiment with my cooking ponderings. Flax flour, eggs, garlic/onion powder, salt, pepper, greased pan, shredded cheese, 3 jimmy dean sausages — 50 minutes …. and I had something similar to a frittata/.quiche ? but apparently after cooling an hour didn’t ever set up completely in the middle. I tested the sides, and it turned out beautiful on the outside 1/3 both sides, and I was able to salvage the sides of the middle so I got roughly 3 – 1 inch pieces — add a little salsa and a little sour cream and we will call it “bbas” breakfast bites alethia style — a little more time consuming and maybe a tad more labor intensive than just frying eggs – but kinda interesting and I think I can tweak this.

Today just chai – well I started another batch of my cold brew to continue to be able to enjoy Nitro – we have started making that here at home, and its just so so smooth – P has looked at a device to allow me to make more than “one a day” using the whip cream maker – but its just not …. well it would be a 1 hit wonder appliance and we already have so many of those, and its likely to end up in the hands of my brother for beer …. its basically a 64 oz container that allows you to “Nitro” just about anything – so I’d be adding cold brew, and it would save me 1 cartidge and potentially 1 day of labor – as I’d only have to clean/sort it out every other day when I ran out of coffee – its actually more like 54 oz of coffee — to allow room for the gas to permeate — while it would definitely be stronger nitro I don’t know if that’s a good thing, and I can’t imagine it would be as easy to clean as my little one considering its super fast. So we wait for our super cool new coffee maker that has been on back order since last year – and is scheduled to come before third quarter – my faith is strong but not abundant that this date will stick.

Life is good.

Darkmoon Faire

There is a game that I play on the regular called WOW or worlds of warcraft. It has a place, a magical island that shows up once per month per faction to allow “players” to visit and experience a carnival. I remember doing carnivals when I was little – the little gypsy things that would set up in the grocery store and be magical. This is a virtual version of the carnival. There are quests, pets, all sorts of things only available from the place.

Today has been one of those days, where I am struck by the parallels between medical and gypsy carnivals. They are both offering something esoteric in their design that isn’t exactly what it says it is in either case.

There were things. — Truth be told, many of them.

People were humans – How Dare They!!!

I evolved.

There is a part of me that learned some lessons and some tools today. More things to be aware of, sort of like traffic lights verses stop signs – they both serve the purpose of regulating and controlling traffic – however some are designed with larger audiences in mind.

Thoughts are sort of like Jello and deciding to firm up in my head.

Its been a few days/weeks since I blogged, so I figured I’d toss a few words up to download whats in my head.

People are great. People suck. There is no extreme or conflict in these two statements, its just how it is – there is a blessing and gratitude of being alive to experience them.

Basically I’ve found I probably need alot more sleep ideally on the regular, but there is just so much life to experience and I’m here to enjoy.

Life is good.

Its may

May Day activities are virtual now, so I’ll just swing my birthday sasha and prance around the virtual may pole and celebrate.

Everytime the First of May rolls around, I hear the song from the musical Camelot – I have to give a big shout out to my motherinlaw for turning me onto musicals at a young enough age that the passion for them kinda stuck – Camelot is one of my favorites – and they do this amazing May Day song… Sorta happiness in a chord.

I’m trying out a first version of a new granola recipe today. If this works out, its a little more complex than my chai to make, but not much and I’m excited at being able to control the sugar – if it doesn’t work out — well it will be tasty either way, just not quite the granola I’m seeking …. so we tweak baby!

I enjoy cooking a bit, more baking – the aspect of developing/creating my own recipes and seeing them produce such fabulous things.

Another thought that is Alethia Insanity 101 came to my mind last night when I was doing my wind down meditations.

I have been PCOS my whole life. I’ve also been overweight since the age I hit puberty. This somewhat goes hand in hand in my opinion – something “breaks” in my body when it hits over a particular weight threshold and does not produce enough hormones. This has been – well from MY perspective, not something medical or scientific – but from an intuition perspective…. with what I’m dealing with in the big C – and the fact that it is triple positive and super aggressive – this is kinda a good thing.

The particular flavor of cancer in my body loves hormones, its also ridiculously aggressive and tends to move alot faster than I’ve been able to see — but I feel this is likely due to the fact that a normal human body producing more hormones is feeding it alot more of a smorgasbord of a diet. I have been … well being in a state where my body isn’t producing extra hormones may have actually be helpful.

This thought/intuition was brought about by something P said, and something I replied to that was… a left field response unexpected and was totally true — I wondered about it for a brief bit, but my head decided to produce an answer….. Goodness knows if its right.

So I think I’ll go back to my May Day bliss and wrap up with my Life being Good.