I recall one of the seminars I did last year on Radical healing – one of the people presented their story – and they did a retelling of their experience with Chemo – and the part that has stuck deeply into my head is something from their experience and something they specifically said.
They said that the doctor and nurses had all covered the bad side effects, and that they decided they weren’t going to have any of them. That the chemo was going to go to the cancer and kill it and leave their body unharmed.
This is a powerful message – it was not new or news to me – but hearing someone else spout it was a little reminder “Hey make sure to tell the cells not to take this nonsense in – let it just go to the cancer cells”
It has had a much better impact and effect for me overall.
With this new protocol – I am winning the lottery – my cells and I decided we didn’t like this list of side effects that are extremely common and we decided we were not going to get them – if we do get them because they are really common across three different drugs I have to take – individually, and especially cumulatively – we will work with these meds for the best possible outcome and help my body stave off these less than pleasant things – and this woman’s mental space in my head – the message she said, is my gentle reminder how truly possible this is – sometimes its a matter of juggling – sometimes its harder or easier to let the side effects slip thru the net, but generally they are alot more managable.
Yesterday my mum and I were talking – mostly about the fact of how immuno compromised I am – and how my entire life, with all the rare and weird things I have personally had and experienced – how they have been tools and stepping stones – bread crumbs if you will along this path to making a stronger more powerful me – they have helped me deal with so many of the things.
Got to spend some quality time with the girls yesterday, and spend more time in D’s new apartment – an man that place rocks. Not only is the view truly incredible, but it has so much – or it seems like it has so so much more space. Space for days, so many possibilities of wonder – she is setting up her style in the place, and personalizing it for her best good, it shows and its truly amazing. I can’t wait to visit again soon to see how she has progressed.
Did acupuncture yesterday and man, have to echo again how helpful it is – with getting my cells in line and doing the right thing – its like recruiting another boss to be in charge of the basic training troops and getting them ready for basic training. It just tweaks so many little things in my body to remember their one job and to help me in this battle.
The new protocol is a challenge – finally found a few things that might make it easier, and trying them out – but then next week we will finish with the worst and perhaps more sleep will be ahead for me!! Its hard to get the backlog sleep right now because needing to keep the meds spaced, and eat “with them” makes it challenging – I mean I don’t know alot of peeps that get up at :5-6 and immediately “eat” 300+ calories. I didn’t used to — lol but its the only way to ensure that dinner can be at a 5-6 window by doing this – and it ensures I don’t through off P’s schedule for eating anymore than necessary – he is my echoing army helping from the outside to keep things in perspective and lift me up when I am having the need.
The one thing that is both nice and unpleasant at the whole time is the realization that all these chemicals have prematurely aged my cells and body about 20 years. So in many senses, the achey things I’m feeling are just generally age related. This is a life pill to swallow that is often more challenging than the chemo ones. I do realize its a mental exercise from the universe to say “hey do the good things now while you can because they aint gonna get any easier later” – Doesn’t make them see more inspiring now, but it does make me realize that they will help me feel better and make 87 more pleasant.
Overall, Life is good.