Old and New

Was thinking about some of the things – so many of the things I have learned over the past few years.

Some of the books I’ve read – scoured actually in an attempt to “heal” … and how the advice of others is not nearly as good as the advice of my internal voice.

Lit some incense the other day in the house and it was just so so strong. I know there was a time I was burning these on the daily – and I don’t recall them being so overpowering. There are three incense I use on the regular – Temple incense – which smells like some of the temples from my travels in India / Rose and Jasmine incense – which smells quite calming but also sorta alluring in a pleasant way / Nagchampa – which smells a little like the temple incense but somehow works pretty great to connect to intuition and make meditation seem more …. well its like smelling warm cookies baking, you just want to eat them.

Have been playing some WoW lately – its a little more than a little addicting to me, but its also somewhat a great distraction from focusing too hard on the “healing” — I’ve found myself to be my own worst enemy when it comes to tap tap tap heal faster – where as when I’m focusing on “something else” I let my body actually do the work.

This week I’m a tad nervous. Have treatment, and also have second vaccine shot scheduled – same day. They gave me an option to push out the shot, but I figure if I’m likely going to feel miserable best to have it be all at the same time.

Old thinking patterns have not been serving me especially well, so I’m working to expand my mind, contemplate my patterns, and drive towards different ways of thinking.

This is not an easy thing to do. In fact, its quite challenging. Knowing “where” a pattern comes from helps a little but its still much like knowing “where” the spider lives, but not being completely resigned to the fact that if you want the webs to go away, you gotta get rid of the root cause.

Some things are good, some things not so great – some just still need tending. My garden is growing, I’m just learning to adjust to tend to the weeds.

Friend sent me flowers, and they are such a beautiful reminder that I have alot of support, alot of caring people rooting for me. My own personal cheerleading team ready to celebrate with every victory, or equally ready to pump me up with every struggle.

This is a week of very good days, time to thrive in them and enjoy every minute.

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