The bookcase bites back

Sometimes things make me sad. I’m not able to do the things I used to do, something about the sweet taste from before not being available – there is some quote about being so concerned about the dregs of wine that you neglect to notice the vibrancy of the new glass.

This seems to be a trend with me – not really a great one, but a common one – one I’m trying to learn how to embrace. Not just the not being able to do things, but the fact that it must be okay for this to be the case. There are so many things I get to do, just not the ones from before.

Its hard – I guess its like a porn star that retires – suddenly not known for “their body” anymore – now what are they known for?

I’m working to find my nitch – and I’d ideally like it to be something happy and positive not the big C — I want to be known for the optimism, the joy, the fun.

There are alot of things, in my head mulling around – not the least of which is that Instacarts was ? out of ginger? I mean… I’ve seen the store be “out” of a lot of things, particularly in the past year – but Ginger? Really? So odd.

LIfe is challenging me to embrace things from different angles. Some days I’m better at it than others.

Today is one of those feel sorry for myself days, because when I can’t give myself a “cookie” of emotion, the part of me that is little somehow enjoys throwing a pity part.

I have alot of friends that are not playing nice together. I’m used to being the peacemaker – but this isn’t a skill I’m able to utilize right now, so it just makes me … very very sad. Its something I’ve done, but can’t do anymore.

So many things to ponder, and contemplate and learn from – today is the hit the books day in life.

Life is good.

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