So I promise, mental trips were what woke me at 5:30 am this morning. I was traveling, traveling, traveling….. I visited my great aunt in Oregon, I visited cousins, I visited Mount Rushmore. I went back to India, I went to China and saw so many things….. all in my dreams, but it was so so busy. I traveled thru customs and so many airports. I traveled on planes, on trains in europe, on bus….. overall it was a crazy night, and excessively busy.
When I woke, wide awake – I figured I’d get some things done for realz, since all the dream things felt pretty great but man so so tiring. Need my physical body to be as tired as my mental body.
I have tried lately to NOT do so much of this traveling, but I feel it was because I went to bed with traveling on the brain. Part of me wants badly to take a trip right now – but part of me doesn’t feel its safe yet; soon, but not now. People gotta keep their cooties to themselves, and I need to keep my cooties to myself.
Today we take Starbuck to the groomers – this is a thing we have been doing every other month for a few years now – He loves and hates it. He loves being clean, but he is scared of the trip, and he gets so sad when I leave him…. he doesn’t whine or bark but you can tell he is nervous about the whole experience. It will be nice to have him looking so fresh soon though, his fur just looks a little scruffy since the blizzard.
I am feeling more and more this is a time to embrace the chaos and find peace and joy in so many things being crazy. Its a lesson for me to remember that its a choice to be stressed, or to be grateful. Its a choice to feel frustrated or take it as a challenge; remembering we are all humans and that the things I’m seeing as detrimental might just be some other human finding bliss.
This is often times harder than it should be.
Today is my therapist, I’ve alot and nothing to talk about – we will see how it goes. There have been so so many things, little and huge in the past week – every week really. Its amazing to me how much happens each week – how much I’ve put into boxes. … Makes me think of the theme song to the show “weeds” — “little boxes on the hill side” … I know their little boxes is houses, but it seems appropriate here, I’ve also found it amusing that the show is called “weeds” both from the perspective of escaping and things to be plucked. Too many thoughts.
Gotta keep remembering the joyful things, and the blessings. So so many blessings in my life. D is graduating from college; finishing her degree after so long, and I’m so grateful and blessed to be able to be here and enjoy it with her. She is and always has been a bright joy, and shining star in my life; her aptitude for growth is amazing; and I’ve watched her climb this never ending learning staircase for her entire life. She is amazing.
Life is good.