There was a musical my step mother introduced me to years and years ago, “Fiddler on the Roof” … it gave me an introduction to what life could be like for others, and it had so many great actors and music in it.

One of the greatest take aways I took from this movie was the song “Traditions” …. For all the things we are so so unique, and different, we are also so so alike.

A tradition I have for the end of the year – in looking briefly back, I prepare for the new year by starting a new playlist of songs…. for the past many years I’ve been using Spotify for this purpose – I create a new playlist that will be my “start to the new year”

The tradition looks like this: I play all of the old years of songs, and listen and reflect on lessons I’ve learned thru the songs and think of the places and people I interacted with during those times, and the growth I’ve had.

This year is no exception, I had a 2020 playlist that I started the end of Dec last year, and it grew – but I also started a second play list after the early times in the year seeming to be super chaotic – I needed a forceful reminder direction in my songs – so I started a stronger play list – both of which have served for my growth and development this year.

Now its time for a 2021 playlist. There are so so many thoughts rumbling around in my head for directions. This too will be a challenging year, perhaps not quite as much of extremes as this one past, but different things this year, as each one is – I am looking forward to seeing what it has, and my playlist always reflects this – atleast at the beginning, as the year progresses, and I add more songs of the “moment” it changes, and the dynamic between the songs is reflected.

Have talked with alot of old friends recently. Its very odd to consider that I am the age of my grandparents when I was born. This coupled with the new niece born this year – yes she is adorable, and I have work to do for her.

Had chemo last week, and I have encouraged the doctors to make my individual cycle 4 weeks vs the protocol of 3 – this is to allow my body a tad more time to heal and detox after each – but also because each treatment really takes me completely down and out for a solid week. On the plus side, its seeming without infection or other circumstances, that its ONLY a week. This is not pleasant, but it IS something I’m willing to come to terms with as doable. I can be in a very unpleasant place for a week, in order to have 3 weeks worth of incredible life.

Connected with some old friends over the past few weeks – the nature of the holidays and the end of the year – we think about wonderful past experiences, and we want to hold on tightly to those people we shared those with …. Thank you friends and family – Love all of you and I have enjoyed all the life we have embraced, danced, and rocked. Here is to many many more of those times.

There are a couple of stories rolling around in my head and thru my dreams,’ I’ve started drafting some of them in blog, but they are so disjointed right now – partially because of head things, and partially because the stories are healing stories in my dreams. In the past, some stories have come to embrace me and fill my heart only to be shattered at my unworkingness to document them out. This won’t be the case anymore, but I’m struggling with “other” challenges these days, that I will face with grace, poise and strong will.

Its an amazing thing to me to watch P grow and evolve. I’m still trying to persuade him to do the PHD program – he is slightly resistant…. It is something he has always “wanted” to do, and I’m just perpetually leaving breadcrumbs.

Its a blessed time of year for so many reasons, I’m blessed to have so many loved ones, friends, and family to share it with both physically and remotely. The technology of this day and age is fantastic, the ability to pick up a small device and see the world from a totally different place hours and hours away is more than remarkable, its a godsend, that I am extremely grateful for…. if I can’t travel to be close to the people I love, at least I can share time and thoughts with them in a virtual world in which we both can thrive. Thank you universe for all our advancements.

I am both grateful and cringing at all the health things I know are coming for me in 2021. Its going to be a year of rule slapping on the back of the wrist, but its also going to be a year of amazing incredible things. I’m looking forward to being here bright and happy to experience both. May this coming new year be one of prosperity and growth for all of the people in my life.

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