Sometimes your tail is missing and sometimes the gophers are in the carrots

Learning is not easy. Taking that word apart, it has an “ear” it has a “lean” it has an “an” a “ring” a “lear” it has so many parts to the whole, it makes sense that mastering it or the lesson would be equally difficult.

Perpetually I’m surprised by the human spirit. Both the quick and selfish aspects, as well as the Strong and perseverance. We were out driving from one place to the next the other day, and there were so so many near miss incidents. People have patience like that candle that is your favorite that is really to low to keep burning. A car pulled out and cut across three lanes of traffic to slam on breaks right in front of us; when there was no traffic behind us for days. Then there was the vehicle that swerved thru three lanes playing frogger with the trucks there, only to rush up to the light ahead with no gain acquired, and no time gained.

These encounters remind me I’m not alone in my struggles to learn, they are abject examples of other people also on this path to wisdom and enlightenment at a place I’ve already encountered; while I’d like to think I’ve mastered it – its probably alot more accurate to say I’ve found the wisdom in the error of my ways…. Patience is like a vegetable garden, it needs perpetual maintenance and time.

I’ve had some very good days lately – days where I woke empowered and happy – ready to take on the world. Its not right to say I felt like the old Alethia, because she is a past time, and I am happy to be able to say that while there are aspects of her I miss; overall the growth has shown me that the new Alethia is right for me at this time. I have also had some struggle days – calling them bad seems a bit short sighted; because I still woke up, and had a beautiful amazing day filled with surprises and blessings to explore and enjoy. — Instead I am choosing to call them the lesser days.

The days where I struggle a bit to find that energy to “do” the thing I want to do.

Yesterday I had a friend help me with a “something” I was really hoping to do. It was a silly little thing, but man, finishing it so so amazing. Its like the feeling of soaring thru the sky at the speed of light. Being able to mark that checkmark – no matter how big, small, significant or insignificant the want is …. it still feels pretty good. I’m learning to embrace the fact that its okay – and necessary – to be able to “not” mark the checkmark all the time. That times will come again to mark it, and having a thing to check off, and being able to be disappointed are a good marker that I’m still learning.

The ability to embrace the struggle experiences, hug myself, seek a hug and realize … Even though its not the perfect thing, its still a thing, I’m part of it, and it is good.

P and I were talking and we were discussing the fact that these days it feels like we get SOOOOO much more done than we had in previous times, previous days a year or two ago. So many past days where the joy and celebration of completion wasn’t there. Life is being savoured, life is being enjoyed. Overall I’m thriving.

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