Stronger than you know

So I was talking to P last night, and thinking about my trips last year – I sorta made a comment at the end of last year, that I’d be taking this year to “not travel”…. this was before “conditions preventing travel” occured – it was more a matter of saving money, and focusing on healing at home…. but little did I know that the universe would assist me in this “goal”….

I digress

Thinking about my trips last year, this was facilitated by my mum posting some pictures from Key west trip – which was NOT my last trip last year – my last trip was to Spokane where I got to hang out with my friend’s parents and we went to Couer de’arlene. I was recalling that in our trip, we happened upon this boat dock thing, that I decided we had to walk around, because the views were just so incredible, and it was a long dock…. It was a mile and a half – a little known fact that I didn’t find out until we finished the walk.

This piece of information did not make me more tired, since it was an ephiany from after the walk. In hindsight, from this year, it was an inspirational piece of information. I was recalling that the walk was not overly taxing, it was taxing but I was able to do it without being exhausted or spent. We continued our adventure afterwards, including more walking around several other places. I was “able” to do this walk.

While I’m tired, and feeling physically so so weak these days – it is inspirational to realize this is something I DID last year, just a short period ago…. on a whim without even realizing it. This was ME not talking about other people, not someone else that did it, it was ME. I can get thru this weak period, this tired period, this period of physical down time – I can get back to being strong and capable.

I can reach my goal of walking across the San Francisco Bridge – its only a tad further than the walk I did last year. I have time, I have gumption, and gosh darnit I can do this. I’m stronger than I realize or remember often. I am healing, I am getting back to myself, and I will do these things.

Somehow, remembering the things I have personally done is just so so inspiring.

Today was a cooking day – I made marsala chai – having finished the last of it yesterday, and I made Banana bread – so that the …. Instacart is great for delivering groceries – especially in these days – but sometimes they make odd mistakes – we ordered 2 bananas – they sent 2 bunches of 6 bananas. There are two of us…. 12 bananas is alot …. so it was time to make Banana bread …. Darn the luck. My recipe for banana bread is one I enjoy greatly, its also pretty quick and easy. So with the bread, and the chai my house smells incredible, so it was a superwoman here I come to save the day activation day.

So many things to be grateful for …. Family chats are one of them…. My uncles – both of them, are something I greatly enjoy – I love talking with them, and hearing the antics of my cousins, recognizing the beauty and the shenanigans of it all…. and being able to reach out and talk to them with the push of a few buttons is a joy and a blessing.

In this day and age we are both so separated and so much closer than any other time in history. The diseases have happened many times in the past, but never has technology been available to ease our social isolation, and to bring our world together at the touch of a few buttons. I am grateful to be living in this time, for the social connections that keep us all together. Thank you universe for my blessings.

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