..And the sky is grey…

More lyrics from this song today…


Its a good day. I feel happy. Pain is significantly diminished. Part of growing older, is that things make you acutely aware that they too have been growing older. Like the pots and pains as they age get “distinctive” badges of age, so too does my body.

Some days it’s hard to remember that these are — blissfully, happily, bouncing happy to be honest – NOT the big C…. they are just “life” and the pleasures of being alive.

Note to self, hurt and feeling bad can have a million sources, and isn’t it ironic that part of my mind wants to always say “well its just C” – when the beauty, the truly most exciting part is to realize, no its just weather, or pollen, or growing up…. Yeah team! I have made it to being a crotchety old woman!

A month or so back, there was this really cool soap – liquid soap – at my acupuncturist – it was a Dr Bronner’s lavender, and my skin just LOVED this stuff, it smelled incredible, and felt like someone was washing my hands with silk. So I searched it out, and in the process found they have ALOT of flavors of this stuff, not just lavender – so I got a small variety pack to “try them out” and decide if it was really lavender I wanted – I mean they have “rose” — I’ve been working thru these tiny bottles of flavors for some time and man, they are incredible. Everyone is slightly different, and still just yummy feeling and smelling. I don’t know if it makes it easier or more difficult to decide which I want to get in the larger bottle, probably I’ll just end up with the lavender anyway, but its been an interesting experiment and experience to go thru the options – like Rose, Eucalyptus, Unscented, Peppermint, Tea Tree — so many options so many potentials, and probably just going to stay with the first one that peaked my interest….

We watched “DR NO” last night – the first James Bond movie. P and I both agreed we probably hadn’t seen it before – or if we had, both of us were so young so as to not really remember it. Sean Connery so so young – Life was just very very different then. He went to get on a plane – and walked into the airport, and straight up to the gate, and onto the plane… things that will just not happen again. Life changes in the blink of an eye. I remember life before TSA – but I also recognize that it will never exist again.

Makes me aware of the fact that the changes, that we are moving thru now, will eliminate some things or transition them into new things — forever.

Was talking to a friend last night, about how this is a hard time, living, breathing, working thru these transitions is just very very uncomfortable. Most people don’t have tools for change. Its uncomfortable, and they feel the need to share their discontent with everyone as a means of minorly minimizing it – sort of like pouring a pitcher of water into a cookie sheet with sides – sure it doesn’t reduce the water, but the bulk of the pressure is distributed differently – its just right now, there are more people with full pitchers than in many times in history. This is one of those times when everyone is impacted.

I wonder what life was like before the first influenza outbreak – or before the plague. I’d imagine it was a similar thing to now – that some things just changed dramatically and became a way of life forever. We are in one of those times, but never before in my life have I seen so so many people coming together, and being willing to help each other.

That is not to say that “everyone” is doing this… but there are MANY more folks doing this, recognizing that for their own survival that they need the people around them …. than ever before.

There was an article recently about bacteria being able to survive in the vacuum of space for years – if they work together in a community to survive. This is the same thing I’m seeing and feeling from our current situations, I’m seeing more and more of people reaching out and helping each other, recognizing that this is how we all get thru, we give what we have, we take what we need, we talk, we share, we explore, and we learn.

Its really awe inspiring. It makes me think of all the make love not war demonstrations I have seen thru books, heard about thru individuals histories, and learned about thru cultural lore, during the 60s in protest to the vietnam war … but its on a more global scale, and it is impacting everyone. Its like the song, the times they are a changin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqvUz0HrNKY

Everyday I am thankful to be here, to enjoy this pain and discomfort with all of the people I love. Thank you Universe for granting me the strength to survive to experience this dynamic period of BS and discomfort, and to be able to watch the growth, and the power of the human spirit. Awe inspiring, awe inspiring.

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