There isn’t alot of argument that the world is sorta topsy turvy these days. My world in particular. It feels alot like I wish I were superwoman. Able to save the world in the blink of an eye.

I wonder about all our superheroes. The fantasy ones, that have embraced mind and heart for years. I love the fact that they have gotten tv shows, and movies in the recent past, to expose another whole generation, but part of me wonders if they are “good things” – like do they show the values that we are trying to fix, or do they show the values in the best possible light – like maybe fixed.

A friend, who has been holding daily meditations made a comment that resonated with me – it has crossed my mind many times recently and become a part of my meditations. His comment was, stay in the now, and visualize what you want as if it exists NOW, not some future goal. Like don’t pray or think for “curing cancer” as if its some future goal to attain, but more as if it is what has been done now. Don’t think about “I’ll do this when xyz has happened” but more – I can work on doing part of this now, because the tools are here. This is a hard concept for me, but I’m finding the more I do it the easier its becoming.

Sadness is still a great big crying bout part of my life. It never seems to linger long – thankfully – but it is always quite sudden and profound over the things that well – to be honest, it feels like I’m crying over spilled milk alot, but the waves and waves of emotion are DEMANDING release, and acceptance. Overall, when I let them out it feels very good in a sense, like some tidal wave of existence has been survived. Like I’m stronger and have weathered some storm. It doesn’t make it any easier for the loved ones around me, but they are weathering this storm with me and embracing me as much as they can — Hurrah Hugs.

The more I learn the more it becomes blatantly obvious I have so much more to learn. I am grateful for the new people that have been thrown into my life, like veggies in a bowl for salad, to help me along this path – the salad is becoming quite tasty and helping make the hunger of knowledge a little more satisfying. Here is to hoping for many more experiences.

Get to hang with my sister this weekend and very very much looking forward to it – it will be a great time before the next chemo which comes up next week. These treatments are very taxing – I look forward to the day soon when I won’t have to do them, when I will be able to just enjoy all of the health and balance without additional medical support along the journey.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.