and now for my next trick…

Was throwing together some dinner, and I did this – I don’t know how I did it and I’m certain I could not replicate it if someone paid me. Was using a butter knife to slice a piece of Ezekiel bread that I had toasted and buttered, and the knife slipped, and flipped over my knuckle to fall on the floor. The size of the bruise is impressive. It’s one of those things where I go “wow I’m just glad it didn’t break anything or even break the skin.” P was watching from across the room and he was like, what was that? He could not believe I was not more hurt. Crazy things.

Today has been interesting, what I thought it was going to look like, is not at all what it looked like.

My uncles birthday is today – last year we were in Key West for his birthday – crazy that its been a whole year already. Just shows how my strength has not failed me. He shared a picture with me, just a crazy crazy thing.

I’ve kept some icepacks in my freezer for just these times. Yeah team!

Had a meeting earlier with one of the inspiring people from my workshop. It was supposed to be a 20 minute consult, we are both very verbose, so it ended up being closer to an hour and twenty. We had our time wires crossed a bit, she was expecting me to call about an hour before I was expecting to call, and I had gotten into the middle of things. She shared some of her inspirations and we talked back and forth about things that might help me, and her suggestions. It was a great talk.

I just love my meditation room. It works so great for so so many things. We are going to have another room like this, P has started dubbing it the museum room, I’m not sure thats precisely what it will be, but the vision we have seems to be together and somewhat on point, it will be a room where we can display many of his collectibles finally and allow him to feel they have space.

P and I were talking earlier, one of the places I’d like to visit next year, when I’m a little more recovered – well it came to me today, thanks Microsoft for sharing incredible pictures and making me learn about new places. This one was off the coast of the Netherlands. It was somewhat amusing to me when I started looking into it – P always says he isn’t a fan of travel because its just too much of a hassle, and I had to laugh because this place – really seems like kinda a hassle. The closest airport to this location is 62 miles away, and this place is on an island, that requires a ferry to get to…. so far away airport, and then somehow to get to the island, and then at the end of the trip back to the airport. The close airport is, well it is a small commuter airport, with flights to other airports close to the netherlands only. So it would effectively likely take 4-5 flights to even get to this airport. I’ve traveled some, but I have to ponder how much this place would be for me or not. Maybe I’ll just enjoy the pictures. I mean I know that Bali – the trip I really want to take will likely also be a hassle to travel to – but I’ve looked at that trip before and its more like 3ish flights to get there, and then transport to wherever we end up staying. Long story short, I’m itching for travel again – I think its the perspective of meeting new culture.

On a plus side, P has agreed to another trip to India! He has friends he would like to go visit – as do I – also I’d like to make more time for the amazing temples there. His agreeing means it will be a much more fun trip for me.

D has discussed some European places with me – but its also possible she might be down for Bali.

I’m also debating/planning the trip to SF with C and my buddy I – I want to walk across the Red bridge. I’ve crossed it 7 or 9 times but something about seeing the bridge has inspired me for that 3 mile walk. So best start working on strength.

We walked up to the mailbox today, its not my whole loop yet, but its a good start. Man was it tiring. My body feels like its gone on some long holiday and is not quite back yet. While I feel like I’m winning, its hard sometimes to not feel sad at my lost strength – good thing I have my tenacity to take up the gaps 🙂

I did some time on my rebounder today – I have to say this is one of the most fun exercise things, and so helpful with getting the blood flowing. Something about bouncing reminds me I’m a tigger – and THIS is what tiggers do best – bounce. I’ve gotten P to do this too, and the stagnant Lymph in his legs is so so much better.

Our relationship is so much better, and we are finally tackling some areas in our house that have needed it for X amount of time, that is way too long. X factors are strong with the two of us…. We are starting to clear them – Y? because we are getting to Z 🙂

In the latest saga of health things – my potassium has been going up and down like a Yoyo – it was 4.3 for a week, then dropped to 2.6 and now back up to 3.6 – who knows where the new number will be this week – with the holiday the check won’t be till Tuesday. Have not isolated the cause, but I have strong suspicions.

I have been truly blessed with so many prayers, and positive thoughts. It makes the days go so much easier, and helps me with all the little aches and body things. This is one of those times when I’m praying for prayers. I’m fighting, but there is no back up army waiting in the wings to pick up the slack, I have to keep pressing forward and hope for the best result.

I have found, that my cells really enjoy when I sing, the song doesn’t have to be to them, it can be just a happy song or a song that improves my mood all the way around. Its one of the only consistent things, other than medicating that I have found that kicks me out of Sympathetic aka Fight or flight mode. Something about Singing turns my cells into “we are safe, we are okay” mode and lets me relax. Medication is nice, but singing is also great.

We have had a couple incidents with Starbuck – he is super protective of me lately, and he has growled a couple times at P when he has moved to help me with things. Not sure how we adjust this behavior at this point, but we are working on it.

Was so nice to be able to get back to some of my treatments that help with Symptoms. I know it will take a couple of times to help me clear more of these woozy symptoms. Got to do Acupuncture, Chiro and massage. So many good feeling things, and I’m feeling a little better – have one more week to get stronger before next treatment. Intuition is telling me that it maybe time to stop the Hormone suppression medication (Luperone) while I feel it is helping, I also feel its reaching the point where the risk vs reward is not on the reward side. Trying to pray alot on this, to determine if we do one more of if we just put it on hold for now. The side effects it has been giving me this time are really pretty debilitating and slowing me down from moving. I am apparently one of the super rare people that gets pelvic pain from this medicine.

All in all, what I’m doing is working, I feel that the cancer is diminishing, and leaving my body – however I feel that things that make it harder for me to work the lymph system and the kidney system – aka pelvic pain – are probably not in my best interest. We shall see, more prayer and medication for clarity on this one.

Its funny feeling like an outlaw from the wild west wearing these masks everywhere. I somewhat giggle every time I put it on. I know its a safe thing, for me and for everyone else, but I still keep looking for my outlaw name. I mean P has the Dread Pirate Phillip – its what they call him at Starbucks, maybe I’ll be Lahnie of the Lakes – or some other appropriate banter name for my masked self.

Wishing Safety, Health and above all Happiness to all my friends, family and cohorts in this special time we call the Spanish Inquisition of 2020. Its still a decade of gratitude, so I’ll share my gratitude for isolation – its a good time to get all those artistic endeavors started, enjoyed and finished. A good time to learn new hobbies, or skills, or to just learn to enjoy oneself more. I’m grateful for these new experiences, and the information they have afforded. Even if my brain is like Dory – and I just keep swimming, just keep swimming. Apparently I took a movie off P’s list, but added another – he has not seen Moulin Rouge – so now we have Casablanca and Moulin Rouge to watch. Go figure, I’m certain there will be more as we discuss some of my favorites.

Good Night Jonboy.

2 thoughts on “and now for my next trick…”

  1. What a great collection of updates! Please continue to rest and recover. I am hoping to share a chatty video visit soon.
    Thankyou A for sharing this journey.
    Love, Mom

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