So I’m learning – when you ask for direction, and your given that direction – best get off your rear and start following it.

This is an easier thing in some areas of my life than others.

So I had this remote session with an intuitive on Monday. She gave me some clear direction about a few things in my life, she also gave me a few details that I was just – well I’ve been praying and meditating about them every since – until today. She mentioned about the fact that I still had some people in my life that were causing more escalation of drama for me. This was/is causing me unneeded stress which is harmful for my overall goal/objective of healing cancer.

Sometimes clarity comes where you least expect it, and it isn’t at all what you would have hoped or really wanted. This was sorta the case for me today. The truth and direction of who and what became clear. Now comes the hard part of distancing myself from encounters.

That concept of gracefully releasing the things of youth comes to mind, and has always been a difficult thing for me. Like some of my eating patterns – that little voice that says “But but but… I want, I want, I want…. ” … its hard to take such a cute kid (yes, I find myself a cute kid…) and tell them “No, not this time” – honestly its like trying to tell my dog “No its not wet food day”

Giving is easy. Identifying a problem and NOT solving it, not trying to solve it – allowing it to just be a problem and finding that “okay” is hard for me. I have been learning, that other peoples problems are not mine. That I am not super woman, that its not my job nor is it my lifes work to solve other peoples problems – and who am I to assume that they need solving to begin with… However, this is an uphill battle, and sometimes, there are dips in the road.

Thank god for being alive to learn new things. Thank god for the grace to apologize when I need to, to recognize when I’ve faltered, and to get back up and try again. Thank god for all the wonderful people in my life that are there to help me, to teach me, to guide me. Thank god for the ones that will gracefully move out of my life, and allow me the space to heal.

Time to change thought directions ……

I got to say a special thank you yesterday, to an incredible person. The lady that P works with that made us these amazing masks. She is just this amazing person, who gifted us months ago these masks – they work super well, and are easy to use and wash. She is a seamstress and it was super great to be able to see her on this virtual meeting and tell her thank you and how much her work means to me. I seem to attract seamstresses to my sphere of energy, and it’s an incredible thing, my grandmother was an amazing one, and I miss her terrible, so it is always a happy thing when another of these busy bees buzzes into my life.

There are many amazing and generous people in my life – this has always been the case; and will always be the case. I live a semi charmed life. Its nice to know that it will be going on for a lot longer. I’m committed to the things that I feel are most important to me, and one of those is sharing my lessons – thru blogging.

Its funny how the mind works. I was realizing in talking to a cousin – second cousin truth be told, that the mind does things, and builds mountains. I met this cousin in person for the first time in my formative – well formative for me 🙂 20th year. She was a grad student at a university, and I realized somehow in my mind, she became the pentacle for all research of any type of scientific nature anywhere.

I’m not even certain what she was studying. But her passion, her decorum – it just set itself in my mind as “the one” – and I was realizing this as I was studying things about my condition, the world condition – generally a few things – that everytime I study — pretty much anything – she comes to my mind. My interactions with her – and she is “the one” – in my mind.

it isn’t anything in particular she did – this is all about me. All about my mind deciding she is the leading forefront expert on everything. Its not that the nature of our relationship is such that I can ask her – anymore than I could ask Neil Tyson about things – but in my mind – she is a “super star” when it comes to research. Intuition led me to tell her this out of the blue yesterday. I connected with her a bit back, on that social thing we all use – the F word. We have had a few snafu type of interactions, but mostly intuition said “you need to tell her about this” — this is the fact that pretty much EVER time I look for information, and a search in research – I think of her – and wonder what she would say or think about it – and I can still hear her voice. Minds are such a dynamic and crazy thing.

Logically I know she is just another human – a mother and while she is my cousin – we are distant, and there isn’t really much closeness in our relationship. This is a case where the mind has pathways that aren’t always necessarily accurate, so we have the ability to shift these or change them for whatever we need.

Its an example for me to remember, when my mind starts telling me negative thoughts or things about what I’m dealing with – that while it has alot of things stored in it, alot of knowledge – it isn’t always right. Its stuck due to the pathways of my entire life – and while I love my life – alot of my pathways have been wild and twisting, and I know – I KNOW I have gotten some things less correct or less best for me, overall. So this example with my cousin, who is not the earth leading expert on everything science – into an ambassador for the human race on all things scientific — While my mind does this; its good to balance it into the reality of the fact sometimes, my mind gets things wrong.

The heart tells the truth – the mind just follows the patterns.