Was realizing today, when I posted it in a chat that my family is like a pack/pride – we look out for each other. Over time, and years we have adopted other people into this community – and over time, other people have left – either thru action, inaction or just divergence of life. We look out for each other, and keep each other safe. Its an interesting thing.

There have been so so many hawks lately on our drives. Some of them are “regulars” – there are a few spots just outside of the neighborhood where there are two that regularly perch – I guess its good eating over here. They are such an amazing bird to see in flight.

I have these recipes that I found when I was searching for “healthy breakfast ideas that don’t have alot of eggs” – the benefits of chaffles is they are healthy the disadvantage of them is that its so so much egg to use them as a bread substitute. Egg is okay for my body but too many eggs within a period of time makes my digestion super uncomfortable. We have been alternating Chaffles with Pico Eggs – both of which are great, but sometimes a girl just wants some breakfast not eggs but also not that carb heavy love of mine of pancakes or Dessert for breakfast as we call them these days.

In the course of my search I have found a ton of recipes, but most of them are kinda carby – this search is where the “feel good apple muffins” came from – and there is one I am planning to try next “Healthy Vegan Oat bars” = which seem a slight amount more healthy than the apple muffins – I opted to figure out the calories before I had a tray filled with these delicious things this time…. and now I’m struggling for activation energy to make these – particularly before my bananas go too bad. Aha the struggles of the day.

On the plus side, infection seems to be going the way of the dodo. Here is to finishing off the antibiotic (fifth round) and then trying to rebuild my gut from so so much of it. Tired from this round of chemo is lingering and taunting me with visions of the comforts of bed, but I have developed a plan for this and it seems to be keeping me entertained a bit.

I play this game called Hearthstone – its a blizzard card game – you can play against yourself or against other folks. They have this Pez dispenser of objectives that is not really trivial but I’m working it and trying to accomplish it – if you get 500 wins with a class you get a “gold” emblem for the class – I did this a few weeks back with one class, and now I’m about 21 wins from second class – its a little thing, but its an achievement that doesn’t require alot of effort just time spent in peaceful relaxation. Its a bit of a win, in its relaxation it gives me motivation in breaks between games to get up and do things, and its something to keep my mind entertained which doesn’t require a significant amount of effort.

S tried to convince me to try out a new game – Genshin Impact – but the cautionary tale of a new game right now – even one that looks pretty, is that its so much mental calisthenic. P made a mention that part of my “super tired” is likely from using my brain so much – I made the mistake of looking into political things for the upcoming election – so many things. I’ve also been looking at alot of things related to healing, and trying to find more cat videos for happy nonsense things. Searching is taxing. Reading is very taxing. These are probably the cause of so so much tired, he is – as usual – right.

I am quite blessed to have so many strong and humbling people in my life. Their positive energy and spirits is always uplifting. Got contacted by another friend yesterday, who let me know he was doing okay – and family check ins from distant family – it would be nicer if my whole pack/pride lived within hugging range – but we work with what we have – I guess some of them would rather live close to the beach rather than close to Texas lol.

i just love this weather, and I’ve come to realize there are alot of things I truly love about Texas. One of them is absolutely this time of year, when it is in the 50’s at night, and doesn’t get hotter than 83 during the day, and the wind – oh the wind is blowing and crazy and tickling and soothing, and makes the chimes on my porch go nuts with small and broad tinkles. So much to be grateful for…

There was a thing that one of the radical remission workshop people mentioned in the previous one – it comes to my consciousness alot these days, and I’ve started doing a variation of it myself – she mentioned when she was having difficult or challenging days in her healing – when her little voice of doubt would creep in – she instituted a policy of everytime she would walk thru her house, every doorway she would cross, she would speak something she was grateful for in her life. She would feel the gratitude. This is such a profound small thing to me, and one I’ve been doing a modified personal version of myself. I will say, it absolutely helps, because its easy to find things to be grateful about, and its nearly impossible to be anything other than happy when you are dwelling in your gratitudes.

I am grateful for life, family and the birds that soar so amazingly in my skies. Both the avian type, and the human type.