Tree Pollen – so many mixed thoughts here, I mean I love trees, but the pollen is well gross. It covers the cars, sidewalks, air, and most importantly gets into my sinus’s and its like “hey baby wanna wrestle” – this makes for a somewhat miserable experience, and I don’t mean the gin blossoms album…

There are not alot of things demoralizing like being in my situation, where I know even on the course of “winning” there will be some “bad days” – even though I “know” this to be the case, waking up from a sound sleep with a horrible headache is … just it sucks.

Even when you know its from those blasted trees again, because you can feel the pressure in your sinus’s and you try and tell that little girl voice inside of you “its okay its just the trees sending their “love” to us…. it makes me seriously want to support deforestation – okay not really but geez, please Mr Oak, stop spewing your golden goodness all over my air! I need that air, and my nose needs to breath to fight the other things, not your propagation.

Its also really funny when you decide to have a little more than usual caffeine to “help” elevate the tree things, and yep sure enough you go from feeling like “you are dying” from the not quite allergies – I’m not allergic to the tree pollen – I just have one of those horrible sinus things that makes me super sensitive to it.

My acupuncturist is incredible. She did a remote session with me yesterday to show me all the really good points to do for heart, liver, and most importantly SINUS! to help me get these painful things under control – however acupressure is just not quite as good as acupuncture – damn pandemic. Michele, is doing remote sessions, and while she in kindness offered me the first one for free, she is offering these as a service, which I feel is great, because its her way of keeping her business going during these times. her website is: https://austincanceracupuncture.com/ She does more than just cancer, but its her specialty – her partner, does fertility as a speciality, and her practice is incredible. I’ve been going for more than two years, and I have to say it has kept me alive and generally feeling great.

I have to shout out for a great partner – P did this amazing thing to help my family have some synergy during these lock key times. He went above and beyond and I’m still – well in the time we have been married there have been a few times when he just did something that overwhelmed me with emotion – where I am just humbled and awed at the same time – and this was one of those times. Shout out to incredible partners, and how they make lives so much more rich and incredible.

I have been thinking more and more – also getting alot of small signs, that I will get another trip to India. This is pretty inspiring. I so enjoyed my trip there. The culture of that country is just well, its just very different from ours, and somehow it makes my soul sing. Ever since I left there, I have wondered – believing at the time I wouldn’t likely get back – just due to so many other places I would like to visit – but now, the signs are somewhat leading me to strongly believe I will get another trip back there – although its a huge country and I’m not at all certain “where” i’ll get to visit. There are a few parts that I’m still a little scared about, although I’m certain with the expression Vaya Con Dios- I’ll be led to just the place I’m supposed to visit.

Believing in god, is an extremely powerful thing – when you wake in pain and even though rationally you know where the pain is from, when you pray, and you believe in god, its an amazing thing to feel the pain lessen even slightly from the prayer, because god just doesn’t want us to be in excessive pain – that being said – There is a part of me that believes god feels that pain is an equalizer, it teaches us humility, and to respect the confines of our body, so while god doesn’t chose or wish for us to have an unmanageable amount of pain – a little pain is actually well, its like a little bit of work or chores or positivity – it goes a long way to instructing us towards better action and better paths. To appreciating those that are down a course that requires them to experience a larger amount of pain – somehow a little pain is a good reminder that your alive, that you can still feel things – even if they are a little less comfortable, and it also makes those times when the pain is lifted so much more delightful. It somewhat elevates them from a 8 into an 11 – Yes old Spinal Tap reference, my life is elevated to 11.

P and I ranted yesterday – food is annoying and hard right now. The meds I am on make me hungry to varying extremes at weird moments. Food is suddenly hard. Sometimes I don’t have enough “spoons” to cook, or even decide what is best. Its like I have been blessed with the ability to obtain some good veggies, but suddenly they just sound like so much work, I know they aren’t really – but the soup I planned just seems like its so much effort beyond just having that sandwich – which has alot less food value for me. Trying to find balance and harmony in all things – particularly in foods, its just finding the comfortable balance between effort and sustenance. I suppose this isn’t a struggle I’m solo experiencing. Between P & I it was a shared treasure of a struggle, and I’d imagine alot of peeps that don’t normally cook are experiencing this same challenge right now.

P had an old boss, when we were first here in Austin – he had worked there for a couple years, and been treated – well bluntly like an under appreciated dog. Finally I encouraged him to find a new job – this boss pulled me into a meeting with him and P and tried to explain that they weren’t acting out of malice – that they had been “trying to make the strong coral rise to the surface” – I politely explained that my husband was a gold star, and wasn’t some sort of coral that needed polishing, and how dare they try to polish something that didn’t need polishing, and that perhaps they should look at their polices, and find a better way to judge. As we walked out the door, and P walked on to a significantly better job. I have often thought of this conversation, and the “rough polishing of coral” that was the bulk of it, and I still shake my head. Don’t try and play a player – it always ends up poorly for you sir.

On to finding some more adventures, and some more things to help keep me strong, and make me strong – looking forward to finding out the potassium numbers today, after the ungodly amount of potassium horse pills they have gotten me to take for the past 3 days – 60 Mg (3 pills) twice a day with a Mag tablet at the same time – so 120 MG daily. Here is hoping that it has Risen the level enough that I’m out of the danger zone – Enough topgun with my potassium.