Its an interesting thing to me that the word “progress” has a very positive connotation to me… I feel most people would agree – and yet, “progression” is the word they use in the C business to describe when things are going pair shaped. I wonder whose brainchild of an idea that was…. some lab monkey sitting around going ooo ooo ooo – I made progress, my experiment worked!! I have made the C grow…. Its made progress too!! — Its Progression in the works…. a word affiliation that is so so positive to us, but is NOT positive at all.
Today, my mind decided 4am was a “great” time to be alive and awake. While I agreed with the former, the later was less than an amicable discussion. I said to myself “Atleast 6am, atleast 6” and my mind said “but but but … there are so many wonderful things about now”…. and I said “yes, the foremost being this stunningly accommodating and soothing bed”
This banter back and forth between myself continued, as it often does for over a half hour… before my mind, decided to be “tricksy” …. It said “We could walk…….” …. Now lets be honest, you don’t get to be an overweight woman by that phrase just randomly popping up into your mind at the four in the morning times and producing pleasure. I’m not saying it isn’t “possible” … I’m just saying, that most people with weight problems – whether its a chicken or an egg thing…. most people with weight problems don’t particularly find pleasure in physical activity. So many spiderwebs here… but sufficed to say…
This tactic, my mind chose…. well it was alluring. I’ve been trying for at this point “several” – but I’m sure it will be many by the time I’m finished… I’ve been trying to cultivate that mind place that can find not only pleasure, but pure bliss and joy at the prospect of the movement of my body. The little thing of walking – in the fresh air, in the cool wind, with the feel of the pavement beneath my feet, and the sensation of all the other physical stimuli available…. This was an alluring prospect.
Like the good little person I am, I didn’t’ fall for this tactic at first. I know my mind, it was “tempting me” with no real believe I’d follow thru – with the true believe that I’d succumb to the woes of weightdom and make some excuse to “not” walk.
My mind underestimated my resolve, and my tenacity towards this endeavor. But I was wise. I laid in bed another full ten minutes… thinking of all the things I would need to accomplish – building up more and more activation energy to overcome the milestones – also known as “mountains” my mind would throw at me to prevent me from walking, but accomplishing the “mission” of getting my awake self out of bed.
I visualized where and what I would wear. I planned precisely what body activities I would need to do, and which could be postponed. I planned my course thru the house, what outdoor things I would need. I visualize myself gathering them and doing them. I visualized the path – I basically took the entire walk in virtual sense – in the thought/plan that one of two things would occur… either I’d have an overabundance of activation energy (excellent) or I’d fall back asleep (also good) — I repeated this two more times. When I got back to my thoughts after the second full circuit….
And my mind again tried with “See wouldn’t that feel so so good”…. before the little voice of the opposition the one that is carefully reminding me “you had surgery just under two weeks ago – take it easy… walking will come” before that voice could come… I jumped out of bed, and proceeded thru the path I’d planned.
There was a tiny struggle with the mask I’d planned – one of the HEPA filter ones P had gotten me to enhance breathing with a mask…. but overall I was out the door, music on, saftey things on…. including my watch to track my steps…. and “going” “moving”…. My mind finally said “point conceded”…. and I replied back “Its going to be great”
Now I didn’t walk as far as I’d pathed/hoped/planned – but I did make it alot further than expected, and the walk DID feel so so good. I am awake, and alive…. While its dark outside right now, there were bunnies!! many of them truth be told – I saw five. There were also frogs? Where are all these water creatures coming from?!? (I almost stepped on one)
I heeded my body at about half the planned/hoped path when it said, wow while this feels good, we are more tired then expected, so I opted for a shorter route with a faster return…. and it made all the difference.
My muscles are awake, good hormones are pumping, my mind is still awake but now subdued, and overall I feel pretty great. Mission accomplished a win for today.
Progress, towards a better stronger healthier life achieved. Alethia 1