The workshop yesterday introduced me to a few gems of wisdom, that allowed me to recognize a few areas where I proceeded to go “Son of a B….”
They covered Para-Sympathetic & Sympathetic – or in otherwords your Flight and Fight vs Your heal and relax…. While I have KNOWN for quite a while this is an area of struggle for me, it wasn’t until after this session that I really sat back and realized, wow. How can you expect, and hold your body accountable for healing, when you never get it out of the mode for F/F…. Its like demanding the universe to bring the rain, while you are standing in the middle of an arid desert. While it’s possible, it certainly would be easier and faster to do this at a place where rain is more possible.
When I woke this morning, and decided I was going to go back to rest more, in trying to rest, I realized my ears were heightened. They were listening accurately, for sounds. It was one of those moments when I just realized, clearly my body is in F/F – so I took actions to resolve this and promptly fell back asleep for hours.
I slept about 14 hours last night in total. There are two things about this that I am observing, now having been up for about two hours. First being, wow did I need this. Second being, I need to ensure I get to this state again and again for the next few weeks at the least. — The Third and given for me, is that I need to ensure that I start recognizing this F/F place More, and that I nip it in the bud.
In personal reflections, I feel pretty strongly that I have spent the majority of my life in this F/F state. I have healed in the past, “in spite” of this state. How much better and easier will it be for my body to serve me better and easier if I give it tools it can use.
I’ve effectively been forcing my body to pack my house inside a giant cookie costume. Sure its possible, I’m alive to prove it. But man, poor body, having to bounce around and break other things in the process. Let’s just get together, and find a more peaceful place.
Its pretty incredible the things you learn when you are open and receptive to them. P and I talked about this a little last night, while we were doing our nightly run down. We are learning so much from each other right now, it really feels pretty great.
We are working on getting him to watch the next two “must see films” from the list – Don’t worry Nemo! P will come and find you soon. Here is looking at you P – Audrey Hepburn will be there to light up the screen.
I’m very much looking forward to these last two sessions in this series – tonight is on Spirituality. It should be fun and engaging. Also very relaxed, because I have decided I’m enforcing a much more productive and longer bedtime for myself. I think I’m starting to have a love affair with my bed, don’t tell the covers. — It was pretty amusing when P came to check on me this morning, and Starbuck made him put him up on the bed. The dog decided Noon was “it” that was as long as I got to sleep – he started at first with the little hum bark, and then into the pattern bark. He has an idea of what “day” should look like and he is quite persistent. The amusing part is he is now doing Doggie Chi as I type this, gotta keep that Zen…
Life is good, I’m very glad next treatment is 3 weeks away, it’s much more pleasant to think of these being once a month. So many blessings going on, this truly is a remarkable start to a decade of gratitude.
Starting to plan a few things or rather, think about what I want to plan for next year. The travel bug is always a dancing mistress in peripheral of my mind. I do enjoy the fact that I have no fear of needing to rush to do these trips this year, I know I will get to do them in 2021 so no need to try and force them into weird social experiment times.
Got a chance to talk to D briefly about the possibilities of Bali – its been on my list a long time, and many yoga retreats keep tempting me, but it would be super nice to do this trip with her, so maybe at the end of 2020 a trip will appear that will feed the needs of that travel.
Overall, I’m feeling like the path thru this woods is getting to be alot more comfortable, and alot less frightening. I have further to go, but I have so many tools and resources, that the travel is starting to feel enjoyable for its own sake. I’m glad for the birds of wisdom and visitors along my path – including the bluebird that popped on my crepe myrtles the other day just outside the window of my meditation room. Thank you universe for all of the brightly shining stars and suns that have graced me with their joy, and thank you for your prayers and the winds to lead me along to the best possible places. Thank you for Joy.