And other lyrics from random songs of yore. A DMB lyric keeps striking me the most today, well and most every time I blog – “so much to say so much to say so much to say…” — So many of the lyrics of that band resonate with me.

In the recent past, a friend thanked me for a mix tape I’d shared with her. For a time, I was making what I so aptly dubbed “crack mixes” – a mix of song stream of consciousness that was a mishmash of odd genre and songs, always telling or leading through a rabbit hole of a story. I had a personal break from doing those, and it was a fitting time for this friend to thank me, as I’d recently made a new mix. Irony is that I will make a mix, and then I will effectively play it out. I have this tendency to fall madly in love with a song, until I’ve sucked all of the love out of it, and that it starts to turn into a dull ache of encumbrance to listen to it further. Its a rather strangeness about myself, because I typically will put it aside at this point, and then several years later find the song again. And the bitter sweetness of the memory of the passion I’d once felt for the song brings such fond memories.

Music for me falls into four categories. Timeless Music, this is music that hits a soul level for me, and from the very first time I listen to it conjures visuals for me that are so strong and powerful they transcend all explanation. They simple evoke some strong feeling in me. The genre doesn’t really matter, nor does the singer, or the band, I have a few songs of this type from some very oddish type methods. Examples would be Enigma “Principles of Lust” — Sting “Desert Rose” — KD Lang “Calling all Angels” — Ottmar Liebert “Barcelona Nights” — Indigo Girls “Secure yourself to heaven”

Then there would be the category of music I’d call addiction music. This is music that is so close to the above type, that it fools my body into believing its that type, and I try and overplay it to turn it into soul music, when its really just physical music. I tend to play these over and over and over till I start to hate them. Some times they bridge the gap of time, and become by virtue of the bittersweetness something more than just pop music, through self inflicted memories of music. Examples of these would be: Rihanna “Shut up and drive” — Train “Drops of Jupiter” — Tori Amos “Precious Things” — Adam Ant “Stripped” —- Again there are many different flavors of this type of music too, generally its music that starts out as a “Wow I like this song” — and starts to become “I really like this song” to “I must have this song, it must be mine” … and eventually to “Meh, this song again”… and then finally full circle over time to “mmmm I remember that song”

The next type of music is the general “Meh” songs, these are the ones that I really don’t like or dislike – some of them I have learned the words to just through sheer radio play simplicity or repeat play of an album through trying to devour the above type of song, and these get caught in the cross hairs type of music, or basically 95% of all other music falls into this category. Most Beetles songs fall into this group for me, as does Barry Manilow, Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers..

Then the last and ultra rare type of music, is the type I’ll define is ugh music. Its the type that usually I didn’t have a strong opinion of to start with, it was probably a Meh song at first, but it generally over time and repetition becomes one of those ones that I strive to turn off every time I hear it. Unfortunately, there are actually a few bands that I feel this way about, and generally I’ve given them unflattering nick names. Whether it be because someone I cared about just really loved them, or laziness of the stereo repeat playing them, or them being “the album” that was available at the time. The cause can be from many sources, but generally they are the ones that start to give me a headache after a few minutes of them playing.

Its just funny because most people talk about music with an eye to the author, or the sound or the lyrics or the genre, but for me … its all about the self filters. Its about what the music evokes within me that matters, the instruments, the lyrics the sounds are all just sort of icing for me. Although I can acknowledge that I tend to find flute music haunting, and violin music engaging.

Its the most amusing thing to me how talking about so much and nothing can help me feel so much more relaxed. Like the cares of the world are suddenly so much lighter to handle and to hold. Writing is a form of meditative prayer for me, its an outpour of my most intimate self into a world filled with hope, dreams and possibilities. Even if the irony of the fact that the very adding the thought and love to the paper or to words somehow diminishes it in a slight way, for me, it gives me inner peace of knowing I’ve shared it – even if its not read by another soul, I have still expressed it, and for me that is enough.