There is a concept that my Psychologist has been trying to get me to adopt that I think might finally have gotten thru my thick head…. “check in with myself”…. its a simple concept… one that I’ve simple skipped for 40+ years.

“Check in with myself? Check in with myself? … why would I need to do that, I’m here with myself all the time… ” … She was finally able to convey that while I’m here with myself, I’m really secretly “there” with everyone else… So checking in with myself is partially sanity, partially selfcare, and partially putting my needs first.

I can’t possible expect other people to worry about my needs, if I’m not worrying about them first. Physician heal thyself.

Speaking of Physician…. I had what i would consider in my 47 years one of the BEST doctor visits via teledoc yesterday…. Okay maybe not “the” best, but definitely in the top 5 – There is this new doctor – well okay she isn’t a new doctor but she is new to my healing team. She works at the close office I go to on the regular for treatments in the twice a week. She also has “medical privileges” which is apparently a thing, at the hospital I’ve been to twice over recent times… and the one I’d likely end up at if the need should arise again. This is a huge thing, it means she can treat me there, and also it means I can get my chemo at the close location instead of having to go to the far away location. This is not so much replacing my existing team, so much as adding a new member.

The new doctor went thru my medical history with a fine tooth comb and showed she had done her homework – because she had a ton of questions for ME. It was…. refreshing, to have a doctor care about my health as much as I do. This isn’t to say that the other doctor or healer members of my team don’t care about my health – but this doctor brought a new fresh perspective which was just incredible. She listened, and didn’t immediately want to start selling me on some treatment or drug, she wanted fresh tests, but she was willing to wait until the next cycle for them. I came away from the visit with a fresh sense of empowerment, that has been needed.

Edit: There was a section here, that apparently isn’t developed enough in my mind to write about, so its just going to get tabled for now, maybe it will show up eventually about deconstructed burgers and dorkiness.

For this new doctor, I had to “relist” my supplements, and they have my records all wrong, not indicating what I’m taking very well at all – so much so that I promised to get a new list with pictures to the doctor today when I go….. In taking this list; I’ve come to realize I take alot of things…. 16 different products – filled with many many supplements on the daily. This seems like quite a few to me, until I realize that nearly half are vitamins individually so that I can body test and only take them if I need them. As well as two different probiotics, and a couple of whole food things that work with the probiotics to keep my gut health perpetually improving even with the medicines working to blow things up.

Body testing is an interesting thing, had a dream about that too last night, as well as the edited part. I was explaining to this new doctor in the dream about the type/form of body testing I’m using. I’ve actually learned a couple other ones, but this is the one I’ve used for years, and the one that works best for me.

Sometimes life feels like a caucus race, the circle around and around – this is one of those times for me. Forwards, backwards, all the same, keep the wagons moving until its time to change direction.

P showed me an interesting article last night, where a data analyst had done some research to show that it only takes 11 specific counties to “win” the presidential election. Travis county is one of those 11 – “go Austin” …. It was a map that was extremely telling about demographics.

Life is very odd right now, but its still beautiful in all its struggles. The sun continues to rise, the temperature continues to play on the seesaw too, and life continues to go on. The blessings I’m thankful for are too numbered to count; I’m so grateful to have a life filled with them.