Or rather, in other parts of this life time. I was an avid attender of a particular church – and we had this incredible presentation – show from the performance group “The continental singers” – it was Joseph and the technicolor coat – or just “dreamer” – it was many many years ago – but its one of the first albums that I memorized the lyrics. One of my favorite singers at the time at the church performed this song. And the lyrics have stuck with me thruout.
“When god closes a door, he opens a window” – Song here, it has a bit of preamble but its really beautiful over all: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slEheK0cfOg
Suffice to say, during the entirety of my life it has often provided comfort to me. Just the knowing that no matter how much I feel frustrated or sad about conditions or the way things seem to be progressing, I have faith that they will evolve, and that I have visibility to see them as they progress – not to mention that if I ever feel trapped, a window is normally large enough to escape where I am.
I’m not really a person inclined to depression. I know its a real thing, and I know that in my particular case its – well science has proven that depression shortens lives. Its not a condition I would ever chose to get stuck in, and my heart and strength goes out to those that don’t have the ability to remove themselves from depression.
Depression is not the same as sadness. This week, has been just overflowing with sadness. With people forgetting they are human, and share time and space with other humans. With strange things, that have just caused me to tear up over small things. Things mostly beyond my control, but my heart feeling like there should be some way I can help, someway I can shake things and show people the beauty, the love, the hope.
We all make mistakes. Whether it be me, in telling P “sure that shelf will hold this stuff, it looks plenty stable” – and being wrong – oh so wrong. The shelf could NOT hold the things, it fell, and took a good bit of the wall with it – it damaged a few of the things we placed on it – and thoroughly broke two pretty solid totes. This was my mistake.
I don’t think larger mistakes are any less good or bad than little mistakes. Mistakes, are just that mistakes. They are however slightly different from choices. Choices are where we select to continue an action that is hurtful to someone else, something else, to a condition. I’m not free of having done this, although I would say I tend to think about ramifications of my choices way too much.
Sometimes choices aren’t something we are aware of consciously – there was an episode of Star Trek once, where they visited this rural earth based planet with this species of energy sprite beings, and the “old one” explained to the visitors “Sometimes the very young do not do what they are told” – as he was explaining to the visitors that they needed to leave – they being the “very young” – – I think many on our planet are these same “very young” – I don’t know honestly that I am not. I am certain there are people and energy beings that are older and wiser than me – older and wiser not always going hand in hand together. Just because someone is older – doesn’t make them wiser, and the reverse – someone can be very young and still be wise.
I feel alot of the bombardment of sadness right now, is because of very young not doing what they were told. The impacts of this is a cause for great sadness. When its someone we feel “should” have known better, its very easy to judge, and to group up everyone as “in this category” but it doesn’t necessarily make it any more correct. The mistake is still the mistake, and while one person doing a mistake is not a guarantee others will not make the same mistake, its also not a promise they will.
One person can stand next to another – one can end up sick the other can be healthy with no concerns. We are all unique snowflakes, and while we share many things the same, we have more differences than there are stars in the sky.
Supporting the positive will always have more lasting effect than the reverse of lingering on the negative or lingering in the sad. But I have to say, I’m being challenged on this right now. The sad – I feel as though I’ve moved a little too deep in the ocean, and I’m treading water, and the waves of sad keep threatening to overtake me. But I can see the shore, and I know if I stay calm, remember I am loved, remember I love the ocean, I love all of the life – that eventually the ocean will take me back to the shore. Breath, and relax.
My love and heartfelt warmth and light to all those struggling like me with this sadness. While its easier to stay in the sadness, to spread the sadness, to lament and share the sadness. The hope, the love, the gratitude for where we are, what we have, and knowing that the window is there, and this too will pass, and the mistakes of yesterday will not always define who we are now or tomorrow. We learn, we evolve, and we improve. I am grateful for the love, I am grateful for life. I embrace this sadness, and I release it.