Scheduled eye exams for this week. I’ve been needing to go – been about well, close to 3 years since my last, and P went in November, but didn’t get the new glasses. Our insurance covers a visit a year – and its based upon year not upon date of last visit. We have been going to this same place that we will call “widget 1” or W1 for short. Its located very close to our house. They have alot of doctors, a nice free standing building and the “semblence” of being an incredible place. Everytime we have visited, it has been just a true cluster/mess. The first time, and even the second time I was willing to just pass this as “maybe its just me” — but not any longer. The third and fourth visits were just worse and worse. They have a TON of people working at this office. and by ton I mean 3 people at the front desk at all times, and the place appears empty most times — note to self, I wonder if they – well laundering things thru here, because the place is just never busy – so maybe this is just a mechanism for getting people out quickly.

This time, they required me to “re” fill in the same paperwork that we have filled in every time we visit. They also suddenly wanted me to fill in the COV forms, and also the new iPad system that they have moved over to – a ton of employees – none of them working to make a customer/patients job easier. Hrmmmmm…. The show stopper that forced me “out” of the office, is when they confirmed as I first walked in that my insurance covered everything and I had no co-pay – then their forms were requiring a credit card from me – a paper from where I would be required to manually enter my cc information. When I explained to the lady that I would NOT be providing this information, she explained to me that it was a requirement – and that is when we walked. Too many red flags about this, and bluntly while I was “wanting” to go to the eye doctor, there wasn’t a need. I have a need not to get identity theft and I have no confidence this wouldn’t happen with so many people in this office sitting around chatting.

In the process of leaving and just shaking my head – Phil took me to another office not far away – where they were able to “fix” my backup glasses, which is really kinda what I was needing – the nose pieces on both sides had suddenly disappeared and were needing replacement. They were fast, and efficent and the couple of employees were all humping and super friendly. I liked this office, and they advised me that all their paperwork was online and you completed it before you came in – again a plus – I’ll be checking into getting an appt here, its not really any further away than the other one, and maybe we will have found a good one.

I miss my previous eye doctor. When we first moved to Texas we happened upon an amazing guy – his office staff – I still remember her name “Eva” was just the bomb. She knew everything, everyone and she was just always positive and a force for good. She made the entire experience incredible. The doctor was great, but we came to this place because of her. When the doctor retired, she stayed briefly with the new doctor before moving on to another office. It was just not the same experience, and she was just her friendly upbeat self, but the new office was clearly not as comfortable and homey for her. We tried a few other “dr” in Round rock, and haven’t been able to find that synergy that makes for a great experience. Here is hoping maybe this new one – which is actually kinda nicely located out by Starbucks new Vet – will be “the one”.

Maybe I’m old. Maybe there just isn’t a “the one” anymore for doctors offices. Maybe they are like pez dispensers now, you just push one up and then push a different one up when its time. I can definitely say that being a vocal patient, this may just be the case. Time will tell.

Walked thru some sorrow things with the Psychologist yesterday, she helped me understand that these are growing things. These sessions are mostly me talking – I’m very verbose, no shocker to anyone, but every once in a while she will chime in with some serendipity that I need to hear.

Got back on the monthly cleaning schedule with my service yesterday – they had a “welcome back” that allowed us to get a deep clean at the normal monthly rate – yeah team – and the house feels just so so much nicer cleaner now. There were a few caucus races about this – apparently they hired a new front desk person that didn’t realize they had no hold, so she told me I was “terminated” – which I was called back an hour or so later by the owner, who apologized and explained “no no, we love you – can we come clean your house today?” – so yeah – long story short, clean house, back on plan.

Things are doing oddly, but odd is seeming to be synonymous with “good” in many respects these days. I got an amazing amount of sleep yesterday and my body is so thankful it work up telling me “you don’t have to go to eye doctor” (it was right of course) “you can just lay back here and rest more” – I enjoyed the time with P and I got to get my favorite classes fixed – which means I can see again! The ones I’ve been wearing have micro fissures in the lense which makes it very hard to focus on things.

Overall, I’m feeling super better, just really tired. Gotta rest as much as I can to get the body in regeneration mode. Pretty excited to be able to get some of my self care things this week – acupuncture is back on Friday – and my massage therapist is fitting me in tomorrow! – It will be a super relaxing weekend, and maybe it will allow me to “get pumped” “get strong” before the next treatment. Talked briefly to my doctors nurse yesterday – to explain that the Luperone is a bad bad thing for me – to express to her that the side effects are just bleh bleh icky not going to do this drug – I’m counting to see how long they last. I wish there were a way for them to “alter” the protocol – I feel that sometimes they put these “amount of the drug” in based solely upon weight – and thats just not me – I feel like the bad side effects I am having is that they are giving me way too much of this drug – so the extra is just finding ways to torment me – I didn’t even realize that the things I was feeling were side effects – P looked this up – and said “oh those are just ultra rare side effects of this drug” and I’m like yeah gold star – I’m in the small % again! – wait no thats a bad thing 🙂

One of the people who I felt was a dynamo from the workshop has contacted me to offer me a free online consultation, so I’ll be doing that on Saturday – not exactly sure what to expect, but it should be fun, because she was just an upbeat and positive person – who I would NEVER have believed her age. I swear I thought she was my age – and when I found out she was 70+ I was shocked. So she has a ton of valuable information for me – getting to 87 isn’t going to be easy at this point, gotta keep on moving and get my body rejuvenating.

I found a really cool suggestion from a recent article that when you are at a super week thing, start your walking path within your house, and I realized that my house is REALLY conducive to this. I have an in and out that are on clear lines, so I can go out the garage, in the front, out to the porch, across the porch in thru my bedroom and back out thru the garage. Going to try this – I’m working up to a consistent 5k steps per day right now – it feels so low, but I’m hitting it with my shuffling house things most days – once I can get it alittle higher I’ll reset my goal as 10k. I’m super looking forward to being able to take walks to the park again, but I feel that the state I’m in this maybe a couple months off, so a round about the house sounds like a fun game to try and play to help me rebuild strength.

R finally got himself moved out, and it was so so bitter sweet. I’m super happy for him, but I’m just a little sad for me. The house is just different without his energy here. However, its just kinda nice to finally start building the time together P and I have in Our house alone. We have talked in the past about the fact that in our almost 23 years of marriage, that we have really only lived alone for 2ish years. We have had a revolving door of people sharing our home since we were married. This will be a great time together to share and try and get the house set up just the way we like. We are both sorta excited about this…. its also a project we are enjoying sharing together.

There was a funny recently that also sorta made me cry in one of those “awe” ways. P reads alot of books online. One of the stories he is reading, starts with the main character dying and going to heaven. God is a Dog – and the main character is like “Really? Dog? ” – and he is answered with “Of course Dog, why do you think we sent all of our angels to come and live with you with unconditional love” – and this made me happy/sad quite a bit – we have had dogs together our entire life shared, and they have always – including Starbuck now – been angels of a sort. Always there to guide, love, watch over us – and thinking of them as angels – well it fit. So, for now for me – god can be manifest as a dog. I don’t’ think he minds whatever we manifest him as, provided we give him the glory, and the prayer.

Shout out in love to all the people who have blessed my life with their positive thoughts, vibrations, energy and love. There is just never enough love. Praying more often, and sending out my love to all these wonderful souls has been calming and helpful in my healing. Thank you for being in my life.