Finding so many things where my brain just isn’t the same – I think I finally have a keen appreciation for the adage “brain fart” – my brain is full of gas and just won’t stop unloading.
P and I have been enjoying more time leisurely driving around – and while he enjoys driving thru new areas, and exploring, I have been noticing more and more that I’m somewhat unaware of exactly where I am – or rather, a thing about knowing where I am that was rather a given for me with my data point brain, is now not only NOT a given, but its a wee bit of a struggle to go from “oh look at all the pretty things” for where I am to “oh this is xyz street, we are SE of ABC” – it feels somewhat like what I recall of preteen times, when I realized I’d kinda need to know how to navigate for when I would be driving, so I started paying attention. Now its more like – do I care about this? I’m safe with P and in a pinch I have tech to show me and navigate for me.
I think I’m starting to become comfortable with the idea that I can just enjoy the smelling of the flowers. Roses are nice.
Speaking of roses, a few months back, I had J trim back my rose bushes, they are alternated in my front garden with my rosemary – which the hedgehog seems to LOVE to burrow in (the rosemary bushes oddly). and the trim back did amazing things, those rose bushes are going gang busters now, they have all grown taller and are budding. It seems to early for buds, but I’m seriously enjoying them. They are almost up to head height so makes them nicer for enjoying.
My meditation room is painted, and carpeted, with new furniture, and will get its first guest next week when C comes to visit. Super excited about this – we have a plan for sushi Friday night and I’ve invited some of my favorite Nurses to join us – although I’m not certain if they will be able to come, a girl can hope! C will get to break in my new fold away guest bed – should be a hoot.
I got to go with T this week to a lecture on essential oils to heal ails in the brain. The lady that gave the lecture actually used conventional things, and oils to heal the cancer in her own brain – it was insightful and informative, and provided one of those quick infusions of hope. Hope is such a powerful thing. I’m so blessed to have so many people in my life that just randomly toss me a banquet of hope now and again. Got some hand written cards from two folks this week – and there is just something that touches my soul about opening up letters – like christmas cards, cards thru the rest of the year are even more impactful because they aren’t around that all overriding holiday – they are more well – they seem more powerful because they required more activation energy. Christmas seems to have alot of activation energy surrounding it already. These cards were so kind, so nice, and beautiful
The universe seems to be in a state of testing me right now. Not bad tests, just “are you really at this point now? ” – with a few right turns, unexpectedly. I’m adapting and showing “yes, yes I am” – and things seem to be improving. I’m not overly anxious about these tests, but they are – well I’m finding them more amusing as time goes on. Little things like the fact that after years and years of using water bottles all day, every day. and not having damaged or broken any. The past three months I have broken one a month. Including one of those hard plastic ones that just isn’t supposed to break. I have told the universe, no problem, we will use something else, I have had a plethora of alternative water bottles so it really is no sweat, just a little clean up. The unusualness of them breaking though has created one of those shake my head things. Go figure. Sometimes odd coincidences – maybe odd coincidences? If not, I’m certain I’ll get instructions on how to resolve this the best.
I am really thankful for all the incredible people in my life, and all of the prayers, and blessings they share with me on the regular. I’m working with God. He is working to cure my cancer, and heal my body. I’m a little stubborn, so I’m certain it would go faster if I’d step more out of the way. Here is to learning how to stop being my stop sign, and to helping things go as fast as they are able to go. For the most part many many more good days than anything else, and alot of learning as I heal.