There is an old adage about history repeating itself – I’ve always felt a kinship to this adage, but I don’t recall in my life feeling so so close to it as I do now.

Because of all the online searches, and the nature of online hunting for things, I’m going to use a little subterfuge in this typing – but it will be pretty apparent what I’m saying.

There was a guy back in the 1930s that talked about nationalism. He spouted all kinds of good things that the people that were working hard wanted to hear. He had a vision, he had a plan. Mostly he wanted to be “praised and be on top” and to take care of what he saw as the problem, while making himself shine. He wrote a book about it.

Then there was a group of people that supported his vision, they shared “the same ethnicity” – they killed tons of people and insighted violence to reach their agenda. They used gangster and mob scare tactics all in the support of the national agenda to make their country great. They killed many many people that stood in the way of that agenda, in the name of them being “the bad guys”.

It was a horrendous time in history. Their entire country and the entire regime is something used to frighten school children with the woes of a man on a mission that is self serving.

We have a man now in our country that is this same way. He has a plan, he has a vision, he is insighting people by the nature of nationalism. While its respectively in its infancy, his supporters are unsurprisingly of a unified ethnicity. They are already killing and promoting mob tactics.

It was such a scary and horrendous period of history, its hard to believe it would manifest again in such a direct parallel. Yesterday was hard.

In my life, I feel there have been very few days where I was sad to be an american. Yesterday I was embarrassed, angry, and incredible sad to be an american. It was a day of watching history unfold before my eyes in a striking parallel that is undeniable.

I remember thinking, when I was young, and I learned about the events from the time period of the former bad guy, and thinking – not during my lifetime – that I would be a superwoman, that I would stand up to his tyranny — that I would NEVER let that happen.

I remember thinking yesterday how powerless I felt, how I felt unable to do or say anything about it. How all the citizens that were not part of the gangster mob must have felt during those times, during the 30s.

I wish I had a solution. Its very troubling.

There is another thing that is troubling to me – these “new” vaccines – that everyone is rushing to get as fast as they can…..

The circumstances of the past year …. and this new “treatment” are basically the opening cut scene storyline of about 5-6 zombie storylines verbatim of games I’ve played. There is some horrible pandemic, some giant medical corporation rushes to “save” the world… and ends up creating a mass death and tragedy that brings about the zombie apocalypses. And then you enter the game, and you run thru cities, hospitals and clinics where zombies have taken over to “save the world” by eliminating the vaccine. ….. So yeah, I’m a little nervous about the vaccine.

Overall, life is the weirdest, chaotic, and odd that it has been in decades. However, its beautiful. My great aunt sent me a holiday card, which arrived late yesterday – with the most adorable puppies gracing both the front and the inside. She wrote a hand written message inside the card. She is an incredible woman, and this was a heartfelt wish for an incredible year.

There are things that are important. Hugs, love, reaching out to help a friend with something. These go on even when the world is in a state.

Yesterday, I got to have conversations with a couple of my “non american” friends…. trying to explain conditions is not possible, there just isn’t an explanation that makes sense to me – so trying to rationalize for someone else not so intimately touched is just not reasonable.

I made Chai. I cooked jalapeno poppers. I gamed. I breathed, I hugged P and Starbuck. I found things to laugh about and….

In the words of the great Scarlett O’hara – …. Tomorrow is another day.