Sometimes when you don’t realize you are holding your breath, letting it go just feels so so amazing. That relief of knowing that the thing you were worried or concerned about being held by someone else, being supported, or being dealt with is so so cathartic.

I have had so many of these in recent days. So So many. Its amazing to me to realize how much stress I was holding onto. The letting it go is just like flying – I’m that balloon that has been freed from bondage and is flattening out all the stress as it zooms around the room. Thats me, just call me zoomy for short.

Its the holidays – I’m not sure what that means anymore. When every day is a blessing, every day has a somewhat holiday feeling to it – and celebrating being alive isn’t limited to one time of the year, no matter how hard Hallmark tries to market it that way.

In my life, I feel so much gratitude for the friends and family that surround me. They are always reaching out to send me happy things. Got a package this weekend, that was filled with happy little things, although at first, it was a mission impossible message, because it came without a return address or any signature. However we were able – my snoop team of D & P and I to conclude that it “probably” came from Jen. We further looked up the USPS to determine that it came from a place in central florida, further confirming our supposition.

I called to thank her, and also tell her that she had filled our time with a mystery. – Sometimes the unexpected game, when you determine specifically it IS safe, is kinda fun.

It was a box of happy things, small little boons to make me smile and to bring a little bit of joy in package. Typically Jen comes to visit, but this year has caused that to be put on hold. Keeping people safe overrides the desire for intimate contact. Here is looking for a time when we can fill each other with hugs of happiness and save the boxes for other things. It was an incredible gift, that made me smile like so many of the things right now.

Talked to D this weekend, and we both reflected on the fact that this trying year has also in gratitude been a year of incredible self reflection/self growth. Recognizing, reframing, redirecting old patterns towards stronger personal growth. Such an amazing thing, that has been elevated thru the choice to remain safe – to focus on these things, apply specific attention to them and allow them to be the fulcrum.

In this decade of gratitude starting out with the hard years is kinda well makes me a tad happy – because I’ve always been one to do the work first and enjoy the boons on the second half or after the work is underway. This year allowed for that in this decade of gratitude.

I feel gratitude for all the strong and healthy people in my life, you remind me perpetually to carpe diem and to keep working as hard as I can, because while tomorrow will be better – today is what I have, and its great just as it is, for the amazing things I can do today.