Song for this moment in time is “Friction” by imagine dragons – just an appropriate song for the the day and things im feeling.

Its a thing for me when I realize i get so caught up in the things happening to me that suddenly things happening to other people make me realize that while my things are huge for me – other people have things that are just as big and frightening for them. That perspective and knowledge of shared humanity and the realization that this year has been truly hard for all of us – while humbling its also empowering because i realize somehow i can do it. Somehow hearing the struggles and challenges of others makes me realize I can do it with my own.

Was talking to P about the holidays- its a time when we both really miss his mom – it was her favorite holiday and she was like a santa elf or a child fulled with glee at this time of year…..: its also one of my brothers favorite holidays. Watching and hearing all the joy he gains this time of year is always uplifting. Its not a favorite for P or I – its not that we dislike it or anything just sorta a lesser one so we haven’t really ever established a true “tradition ” of things we do ever year—- we have tried a few nothing has really stuck for us. Maybe this is the year…… id have likes to repeat last years of a limo ride to see lights but its just not a doable with the conditions of the year— better to be safe than sorry.

Its an amusing thing the dreams ive had lately too many for words- atleast in this space – and too many super weird ones. – like the train that went around the inside of my house….. but so so many of them.

Trying to embrace so many lessons ive learned about myself this year and evolve into a better stronger person. Somethings are easier and somethings are harder but all of them are learning and ill get there eventually just gotta keep trying. The journey is teaching me so much i am truly blessed to continue enjoying it.