Easier is not always better

I got to spend time yesterday with R&E – was super nice, she is growing so fast, and its very cool to see how my brother is also growing – she has alot of work cut out for her, but he is definitely putting in the effort.

Yesterday was acupuncture. This is always helpful, all though I’ll admit that it has become more of a thing I worry about. I’m not sure why so many of my “things” that I know work, are things that seem more like a struggle. Perhaps its the fact that my mind is just ready for a vacation.

Wouldn’t it be nice. …. the Beach boys song always skips thru my head as I quote that line… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZBKFoeDKJo…. Although the lyrics don’t exactly mess up with what I’m feeling, the lyric of their voices will forever be something that grabs at my heart and makes me dance.

This is the second day in a row that I’ve slept – well risen earlier than usual or needed. Just an observation. I figure its partially medicinal based, and partially just starting to feel better.

It was nice to get out of my own head and follow along on someone elses journeys for a few hours. Today will be a very different journey but potentially alot more of the same – D is coming over and that will just be great.

Today might be a squash day – its been sitting on my counter looking at me longingly lately. “Hey baby, didn’t you have a plan that included me? ” And truth be told, I did…. my stomach could use some of this tasty delicious healthy carb. Its been a little unhappy with some of my food choices lately – I can’t blame it overall, emotional eating has been strong lately – however it feels like maybe I’ll get a little respite from that soon, the feeling better helps significantly.

P has had alot of struggles with work lately – they are pulling him in 50 directions, and its hard for him to stay centered. He is doing a bang up job; its just challenging to watch him working so long and hard – into the super late hours. Knowing his mind is filled with many projects and things. Perhaps he will get some good relaxation this weekend.

Its very interesting to me – a friend posted something …. conflicting to me, about political things. Perspectives are such a weird thing. Specifically Judo-christian vs Transgender. There is an appropriate analogy I’ve had for a long time, that in this day seems so much more vivid to me – that all of life, every action, reaction is a part of a pie. We generally are limited to our particular slice, but there is a whole rest of the pie to be explored.

I have to remind myself of this, when people do things I just can’t understand….. That there is some world, some perspective that for them, this is the only or best way.

Its hard to have grown up as a peacemaker. Its hard to truly believe the above, and try and reconcile it with the fact that this means there is a rationale for “most” things.

I’m not saying, that every action is pure. That ever belief is based upon rational or heart based feeling. I do believe that there is such a thing as insanity, and it skews the perspective or the ability to rational evolve to an opinion or belief. However, its not the common, and many of our “differences” are really just perspective from being on opposites sides of the pie.

We are human, can’t we just get along?

Its kinda made me, through out my life go back to the fundamentals of “is this something worth fighting for?” …. But along that same line, what I believe IS or ISN”T worth fighting for, is not the same as what someone else believes.

The beautiful, and disgusting thing about belief is … its individual, its neither right nor wrong, and it doesn’t have to be justified to be acceptable. It is however, extremely potent and powerful.

I believe there is a purpose in my rising at this dark hour, before the sun – yesterday I did get to see an amazing sunrise, so I suppose thats part of a driving force behind this belief.

I believe I am getting stronger and healthier – although sometimes it does NOT feel as if this is truth – sometimes, my mind tries to convince me that this belief can’t possible be valid. It doesn’t change the fact that this is what I believe.

I believe I am experiencing the challenges and obstacles I have for a reason – that my life has meaning, purpose and goals.

I will continue to hold these believes with every ounce of my being, with every breath, and every heartbeat.

Life is good.

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