Bittersweet intuitions

I had such a positive experience with the Radical Remission workshop a few months back, when they offered a discount for repeat attenders I jumped at the chance. Invited my mom to attend with me, and we were set.

Unfortunately I had a few limiticky snicket type incidents with the registrations. First, I registered for the wrong session – chosing in error the 1pm session instead of the 7pm session. The facilitator was fast and effortlessly fixed this for me.

Second, the session says it starts at 7pm and for some reason I mixed up the dates and thought it started on Thursday – it started on Tuesday, so we missed the first session — but they had a recording!! So no worries, mom watched it, and I was already pretty knowledgable about this – having attended before – it was sorta like a first session for a college class – alot of introduction.

Third, it said it started at 7pm – but for some reason, in my Texas blind side, I failed to notice the ESD in the time. So we were an hour late to the first session. WE did catch the rest of the class, and got on track.

Last night was the third – second for us – session, and I had a few snafus but got in within a few minutes late. This session was on intuition.

I really enjoyed this session last time, and last night was the same. The lady who does the exercise is extremely knowledgable, and her voice is very soothing. She has a thick accent (German) but its somehow extremely musical to my ears.

The activity/exercise was a group guided meditation. She led us thru this beautiful breathing exercise, then into this guided picturesque scene before our own vision took over. I remembered I had done this the last time, and I’m a pretty diligent note taker, but I could not at all remember the last session.

The meditation was great – and informative. My spirit guide answered my questions directly and quickly. The guide gives you a gift, the thing you most need right now. My gift was an apple with a worm in it. I almost laughed loudly at this – because I KNEW immediately what this represented.

I’ve been really unsettled with doing Chemo. I know how toxic it is long term. I know that basically all chemos “cause” cancers. They are toxic. However, they also are extraordinary and they help. The apple represented me, and the worm represented the cancer. The apple also represented all the things I’m doing to heal myself, and the worm also represented the chemo. It was the universe way of telling me, suck it up buttercup, its not time to stop chemo yet.

It was also a surprise to me, when I went back thru my notes – the place from the previous session was the same. The details – the sights, sounds, temperature, smells, all of the sensory things I recalled from the first session — they were the same in this session This is a place of healing for me, and one I’ve visited often. While the guide this time was very different, the questions I asked very different, and the answers, and gift very different – that makes complete sense to me.

It was just a great session. I’ve always used my intuition heavily, and this was just further confirmation – it also helped settle my mind on this chemo. While there is still a part of me with the “I don’t wannas” – the bulk of me was more resolved to the fact that its good for me right now.

So many of the small things about this intuition session were little aha moments. I love intuition, it is a guiding force in nearly everything I do – the biggest struggle for me is – I love thinking, and turning problems over in my head like a puzzle – and remembering to release these back to intuition.

There is thinking, and then there is feeling. The two are not the same, and while each has a time and place — Intuition is where radical remission comes from, and that is what I’m focusing on right now.

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