Fire in the sky

It was a beautiful morning, a sunrise, that was so fiery it gave me pause and caused me to go flick a picture. The picture doesn’t do it justice other than to remind me of how powerful the sun looked in that moment, sharing here as a reminder.

Sunrise Feb 2020

Life has been good, I think I just needed to get past the first month of the year, sorta like the rough start of a car that has been sitting so long. We are on a journey. Its an adventure, Time for some amazing and good things.

C comes to visit this week, and I’m so excited. She is a great friend and sister – always glad to see her, and this is no exception, we will be having a blast, and enjoying some most desired sushi. Its a short visit, as all of her trips are, but it will be plenty of time to get in some R&R, some dominos, many laughs, and a plethora of hugs.

Had some pretty crazy but amazing dreams this week, that gave me a path towards some things I’ve been struggling with – a bit hard to explain but suffice to say, it reassured to me that I still have some things I’m an expert at enough to be of value to other people.

Couple of other odd thoughts occured to me this week. Being a nurse is always one of those occupations that came up on my profile tests, however it was one I always laughed at, due to my vehemoth abhorrence of blood and guts. It has been an interesting side note, that my experiences over the past 4 years have totally eliminated that – not only do I no longer have energy to hate or stress so much over them, I just have become extremely desensitized to them overall – much the way that massage school taught me to be more comfortable with my body in general. Not saying that I will be going to nursing school anytime soon – but I do have to say after my recent hospital trip – the idea of being able and certified to access my own port is highly appealing – still healing bruises on all my arm veins after three weeks – wouldn’t have these, if they had just accessed my port. The idea of being able to be self sufficient in this is – well I know this probably isn’t even a reality thing, cause probably there are reasons not to access your own port, but still it is somewhat of an appealing idea.

I’m not sure if my pervasive reason for needing to be alive will turn out to be something of a medical nature, a metaphysical nature, or more of a random data nature. But I do feel its out there, I just have to have my ship steer its way towards it. I’ve asked for a star to guide my ship, and I can feel the clouds will be lifting soon to guide me.

Its a kind thing that the universe has allowed me to have a few small blocks of time to game. Its always been a thing that allowed me to be laid back and relaxed, while engaging my mind. I can’t play for nearly the blocks I used to be able to, but even small blocks feel so comfortable, that they help my heart feel strong.

I am so blessed and thankful for all the caring individuals that have crossed my path, and have filled me with joy. Their inspiration and cheerful dispositions have helped sustain me as I climb the mountain thru my self and my own ambiguity that has kept me from having a straight and narrow towards my goals. Prayers help, positive thoughts help, and I am blessed to have so many kind souls sharing their hearts with me. There is not enough thanks in the world for me to express my gratitude. I will state again, this decade of gratitude is starting out quite magnificent. I have learned so much already in the brief time of this year, and I have no doubt there is so much more knowledge coming my way. Its nice to know that we only get what we are capable of handling.

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